Facebook -What The Hell Is It For?

What do you use Facebook for?  To keep in contact with out of state friends and family?  To keep up to date with your college buddies?  To spy on an ex-boyfriend?  To get all the latest gossip on everyone you know and don't know?  To see how many "friends" you can tally on your list?  As your main form of communication to those closest to you?  Tell me - let me know in the comments section below.  I'm curious how people I know use this online social network.

I'm sure you'll be able to relate with a lot of what I'm about to write.  I've seen so many insane things go on on Facebook that I've deactivated my account twice.  Some of it is downright scary. 

I had one "friend" who posted between four and six status updates per day.  Every day.  Without fail.  I wondered what kind of job he had that he was constantly posting on Facebook.  He didn't.  Okay then.  But did I really need to know that he had a hankering for a Coke Zero?

Another didn't post too much but when she did, she was quoting something from the Bible.  Always.  She never said anything that didn't involve God or the Holy Spirit or her blessings along with some verse from the Good Book.  That's nice, but for those of us who don't know what we believe in or don't believe in the Bible or God or the Holy Spirit, this, after a period of time, becomes, well..... ENOUGH.

I know a friend who has someone who posts, every night, what they had for dinner.  Or what they are about to have.  I know him and he doesn't usually say much, but one of these days, he's just going to snap and post back "NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FART IN THE WIND WHAT YOU'RE EATING FOR DINNER SO SHUT THE F%*#  UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!"  I can't wait.  hehehehe

My cousin has an outstanding view on the whole Facebook posting thing.  She said something like "people can post whatever they like - if I don't like it, I don't have to read it."  Now I don't know hardly anyone who doesn't get at least slightly annoyed by some of the stuff that people post but that's just me.  I envy her for this outlook.  I wish I could adopt it.  But I can't.  It just ain't happenin'.  People annoy the shit out of me, especially with some of the moronic crap they post on Facebook.  So sue me.  I'm sure my Facebook posts piss some people off.  So we're even.

I shut down my Facebook profile a while ago because of family drama.  Not like there's not enough of it in real life, but let's add our disfunctional family to our FB friends list and see if that can't turn out badly somehow.  I didn't realize it was the "non-joking day" of the week and I made a joke and once again, for the umpteenth time, someone's not talking to me (like that's a bad thing).  Then, I get an email from someone else in the family about how immature I am and when I ask what they're talking about, I get read the riot act about how I deleted them from my friends list.  Uh....hello?????  After I let them know I didn't delete them, I closed the whole account.  Didn't need it.  As my dad is always asking - what happened to picking up the goddamn phone?????  God forbid. 

Well that was months ago.....I'm back up on Facebook now.  I don't have any of my family on my friends list anymore.  I won't do it.  I learned my lesson there at least.  I limit my list to only those I actually communicate with.  That means I have less than 60 people on my list.  It works for me.  Tell me what works for you.

For You.... The Brightest Star

I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And it burned wild and crept up the mountainside
I followed your ashes into outer space
I can't look out the window
I can't look at this place

I can't look at the stars...
They make me wonder where you are
Stars... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars

All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far, we felt like we could fly
And now I'm all alone in the dark of night
The moon is shining but I can't see the light

And I can't look at the stars...
They make me wonder where you are
Stars... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars

Stars...
Stars... they make me wonder where you are
Stars... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I can't look at the stars

More Followers?

So it's my...... 29th (HA!) birthday and I'm sitting at home in front of my laptop.  I am a DAMN good time! 

I just read an article that told me I should write a post about becoming a follower of my blog.  That said, if you are here and reading this, do you see the widget on the right hand side of your computer screen there?  It says Become a Follower or something like that?  If you like what you've read so far, you can get automatic updates when I write a new post since you'll most likely never return here without my prompting and while I don't mind reminding you to come back, I'd REALLY like to get past 10 followers.  So how 'bout it?  You can follow publicly or privately (if you do it publicly, I'll at least know you're following, which would be very cool).

SO...... come on - become a follower.  All that will happen is you'll get an email when I write a new post and that's not so bad, is it?  If you really like my blog, email it to a friend.  After all, I need the practice here to write my book (if I don't drop dead first).  Consider it a birthday gift to yours truly.  Who knows, maybe I'll mention you in my forward.....  ;)

The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #5

Date #2

Date #2 was supposed to be the dogpark on Saturday but considering it was supposed to be below freezing, I flip flopped dinner with a good friend (which would enable me to spend more time with him) and planned dinner and a band with my online guy.  I was very excited (and still giddy) to be going out later that night and thought "is this what it's like to have someone to DO things with?".  Little did I know that would be short-lived.

I picked him up because his wrist was hurting from his physical therapy session and considering he drives a stick (like me), I felt for him.  We went for dinner at the same place the band was playing.  The good thing: I am very comfortable with him. When he takes my hand in the parking lot, I enjoy it.  A good thing. 

Dinner was good, conversation was good.  I saw my dear friend who I haven't seen in way too long.  One of the highlights of my night.  I missed her so.  Time for the band.  They were good - interesting and different.  Of course, I was ready to go home before they even went on.  I am just not a "go out" kind of person.  Such a deadbeat I am.  My date was perceptive enough to know something was off but he mistook it for me not having a good time with him.  We left after one set and I guess I was a little quiet on the ride home.  When I got to his house, he kissed me on the cheek and jumped out of the car.  Confusion.

I asked him about it via text and he said it was because he thought I didn't enjoy myself.  We "talked" about it and I assured him it wasn't anything at all having to do with him and I thought that was that.  In the week that followed things seemed strained and one-sided.  I finally told him that I was going to leave him alone and if he slowed down with work and wanted to go out and do something to give me a holler and I'd be happy to but that I felt it was one-sided.  No harm, no foul and no hard feelings.  I never heard from him again.

Whoopadeedoo.  NEXT.

That's What Friends Are For (or are they?)

I've had many friends throughout my life. Of course, my idea of what a friend is has changed many times over the years. I guess that's normal as we get older and wiser. When I was a child, I thought my best friend then would always be my best friend. I didn't know any better. Who am I kidding, even as a young adult, after having quite a few "best friends" I thought the one I had at that point in time was going to be it until I got old and gray. This is the part of me that is forever optimistic and always seeing the good in people. At 42 I still hold on to that shit (even though I call it shit) and believe it always works out the way it is supposed to (which is supposed to be good) and people, deep down, will do the right thing. Shit, right? Yeah, well, I didn't say it was accurate, I just said I still hang on to it.

  

Anyway....I read something once early on - a poem or some such thing. I just looked it up (gotta love the Internet) - it was the Reason, Season and Lifetime friend poem and it said people either come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some of it is hokey but some of it made a whole lot of sense to me. It made me understand why friends come and go. Or maybe it just gave me a reason to believe why they went. Because sometimes I just didn't understand. I started to think my expectations were too high.  Or maybe there was something wrong with me. Or maybe I didn't deserve friends who stayed. 

I like to think that people do come into your life for a reason and you may not know what that is until quite some time down the road because it hurts when they go, but eventually, you do figure it out. Some of my friends now are text friends. Some are shopping friends. Some are hang out and have a beer friends. And some.... very few.... would drive an hour, at three in the morning to come and pick me up if I called them because I needed a ride. Those people.... they are my friends. If you're lucky, you get a few of those in your life and you hang on to them. I've never been one of those people, though, who had a friend like that since kindergarten or grammar school or even high school. I always envied people who had that and wished I did.

What I do have is one friend who I've known since 1988. He is, by far, the person I've known the longest and am still extremely close with. He is and always has been, my soul mate. He knows me inside and out. He can look at me and know what I'm thinking. I hardly see him anymore but I bet he can still finish my sentences. He understands me and who I really am and what makes me tic. He understood me, I think, before I even did. And the really cool part? He accepts me for exactly who I am - faults and all (and I have a lot)!

SO.... why am I not with him you might be wondering? Good question (my first band). We'd probably kill each other.  I love him. I need him. We just can't be with each other.  I tried. I really did. I dated him.... slept with him, even. Several times. I tried everything I could think of to MAKE myself feel that way about him. But you know what 'they' say? You can't make the heart love somebody. I can tell you exactly how true that statement is because I tried so very hard. I knew if I married that man, he would make me happy for the rest of my life or do whatever was in his power to try. But I didn't. I couldn't. It wasn't fair. So 23 years later he's miserable and I'm alone.

I've dated all the wrong men.  Men who didn't care about me. One who mentally, emotionally and physically abused me. One who verbally belittled me every chance he got. One who only cared about his work. Oh, there were many. They weren't all bad. They just didn't work out for one reason or another. But there was always him. My friend. The one who knew the real me. The one no one else knew or tried to know. Not even my husbands. And you know what's funny? After two failed marriages and many relationships, the one thing I've come to realize is that at the end of the day, I want someone I can call my best friend. The one who I know, no matter what.... in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, through richer or poorer - loves me. The real me. Not the picture of somebody he was hoping I might be. I want a friend.

I wonder if I'll ever find that.  I know I'll keep looking.  Or not looking (isn't that when it finds you?)  The one thing I know for sure is that I will always have my dear friend. And that, I cherish.