I keep doing it. I'm told I have to forge on.... I have to weed them out. I, myself, say it's process of elimination. Sure, it makes sense, but is it realistic?
I went on yet another first day tonight. My parents laugh when I tell them because they say I have no interest in dating anyone. It could be true. Who knows. Yet, I continue to put myself through it. I keep saying one of these times it will be the right one. Is it just a joke? Is the joke on me? Yes, I'm happy. Yes, I'm content by myself. Yet I'm open to a relationship. But then, when I find the possibility of one, I seem to have no interest. I'd say it's me, but there was John. Ah yes, the infamous John. Thank goodness for him, really, though, because if it wasn't for him, I would SWEAR it was me. But...... he was real. I.....fell for him. Some might say I loved him. Who knows. I don't even know what the fuck love is. But whatever it was, I had it - felt it - for him. So there. I know I'm not broken. Or fucked up. I know I CAN feel and want and, dare I say it..... love.
So I go on yet another 1st date tonight. To sing karaoke. At a place this guy frequents. Great. He knows everyone in the joint, including the owner. Wooohooo. Now if I was a timid, reserved woman, this might be a problem. But I'm none of those things. I'm me. Eventually, he leaves and I'm left there, with the people HE knows because I'm having a good time so why should I go home? He has to get back to his 14 and 15 year old, you know? That's fine. I tell him he can just tell me if he didn't have a good time or whatever the case is - it's all good. I had a good time, blah, blah, blah. Whatever.... I don't have time to try and figure him out. Either tell me what's on your mind or keep it to yourself and deal with it on your own. To be quite honest, there were plenty of things he did that turned me off but you know - whatever.
So I'm having a good time. I sing a song for the birthday girl who is having a party there. Now it's time for me to go. I've had a few drinks and I know if I stay, I'll just get into trouble. This 33 year old walks out with me (mind you, he looks 22 and is cute as a freaking button).... we are talking and talking..... he asks me if I'm going to another bar. I say no. I wonder if he's hitting on me and I'm just too stupid to realize it (because you know, he just got engaged and all). Then, as I'm running to my car in the rain, I tell him "You're too freaking cute!"...... Why did I not stay?????
So I leave and I'm driving home contemplating all of it. What was a 33 year old doing in the parking lot with me? He made several comments that any normal person would construe as hitting on me, except for me..... I'm too dumb. I'm on my way home when I'm thinking what a waste that was. How the person I went there to meet turned out to be most likely a big fat zero but yet I had a 33 year old flirting with me from the second my "date" walked out the door and what did I do? A big fat NOTHING. And then it happens. The meaning of life. What is it? Why am I here? What's the purpose? FOR WHAT? Ugh. Not a good time for all that to kick in.
It was looong ride home. It was rainy and I was crying. I parked my car in the parking lot and put the seat back and sat there for a little bit. Quite frankly, I didn't really give a shit what happened at that point. And that wasn't the first thought like that I had all night. There were several times driving home that I thought it. Not good. Why? The alcohol, surely. I'm alone because I chose to be alone yet do I want to be alone? Yes. Then why do I keep going on these first dates? And what the fuck is my problem? Ah, if I only knew.
My dog is curled up in a ball next to me on the bed. That seems to be the only sure thing in my life right now. Rather.... it's usually the sure thing in my life. My boy. My Harrison. Dog is my co-pilot. Lord give me many more years with the mutt. I don't know how many more 1st dates I can weather without him by my side.
Showing posts with label 1st date. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1st date. Show all posts
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Joys of Online Dating -The Mother-Load
I have hit the mother-load, people. I received an email tonight, read it numerous times, and still couldn't figure out what in God's name this guy was attempting to say. I can read text talk and I can read shit lacking proper punctuation, grammar, spelling and so on, but I simply cannot read stupid.
One definition on UrbanDictionary.com states Text Talk as the following:
noun (tehxt torck) or (txt tlk):
Uses: Mobile phones and MSN Messenger.
The most annoying form of speech ever, more annoying than French. Widely ununderstandable, it abbreviates as much as possible leaving a code which only the author can decrypt. Though it does help the author write it quickly, the recipient must undergo strenuous investigation to be able to reply in an equally confusing manner until the competition of confusosity gets to such a point, that their grammatically incorrect minds explode a little more.
We have been lucky enough to have text talk leak into every day writings - instant messages, emails, notes and letters - I've even seen it used on an employment resume. Seriously people - WHAT THE FUCK??????
Sorry.... it's not my number one peeve, but it's up there. Now back to my email guy.
I went to his profile. This is what I saw:
As a cancer I didn't pick the crab but the turtle the reason is on the outside I mite be protective and private but when I peep my head out I enjoy all the things life can offer if ur a friend family member or someone I care about there's isn't anything I wouldn't do for u if I had 2 dollars to my name I would give u one however I don't trust people at first it has to be earned it takes quite a long time to no what makes people tick as a Brooklyn raised Irish itilan man I can read people pretty well and quite honest the less people in ur life the better off u are friends and family there with u to u tape the eternal dirt nap everyone else are strangers was married 12 years lost wife to breast cancer so I have learned life's about moments terribly despair makes u realize how special and precious life is so I don't waste my time on trivial matters drama or nonsense I've had the ups of ups and the downs of downs but that's life its not fair but its pretty good to and u only get one ride about myself love sports went to culinary school in Paris for 1 year love classical music theatre cooking avid reader Seinfeld maniac love erroll Flynn bogie old movies and spontaneous and outgoing people u can't plan life every minute u have to react on ur mood that's what keeps it fresh I have already had the love of my life so I don't have any expectactions but every now and then u mite meet someone who gives u a spark and a new music to ur soul so that's why I'm trying this never been on a website in my life I still believe to connect with someone is up close and personal facial expressions look in ur eyes just because u have same hobbies or interests u still have to have that instant spark I never say never there's always someone who comes along when u least expect it and truly that's how it works but that's the good thing about life sometimes it turns good the other way so on the light side I'm fun no bullsh*tbrutally honest and hey always willing to experience othe women's interests and thoughts I would hate to meet someone like me ha ha the joys of love they last a short time the pains of love last all urr life u gotta take chances sometimes so what the hell I'm trying this Humphrey Bart got it rite when he said the world is 3 drinks behind if everyone had 3 drinks it would be a losser less uptight world its not that complicated u either meet someone and there's violins or there are bongos. And PS to all u women who think all guts are bad I was with the same women for 16 years, so why did the single most important relationship other than ur family fail. It takes 2 for a good relationship or bad so if u live in a materlistic worldand are a shallow self absorbed human being that's what ull get out of life. But if u chose to look further in the depths of somebody that's were true happiness truly yes. Always rember its easy to love and be loved by someone when things are good. But how about god for bid the loss of a child a parent if u lucky to have someone there for u then u have had made the rite choice its a little deeper than u might think that's life.
That was special, wasn't it? Are you cross-eyed or just mortified? In either case.... I couldn't continue an email conversation with him even if I wanted to because I can't figure out if he's trying to insult me or compliment me!
Anyway, had to share that with someone. Why not all of you?
PS - Another 1st date tomorrow night. Been texting/talking/emailing for two weeks now. No expectations, though. Not after 1st Date #1. That unwound faster than a roll of yarn in the paws of a kitten.
One definition on UrbanDictionary.com states Text Talk as the following:
noun (tehxt torck) or (txt tlk):
Uses: Mobile phones and MSN Messenger.
The most annoying form of speech ever, more annoying than French. Widely ununderstandable, it abbreviates as much as possible leaving a code which only the author can decrypt. Though it does help the author write it quickly, the recipient must undergo strenuous investigation to be able to reply in an equally confusing manner until the competition of confusosity gets to such a point, that their grammatically incorrect minds explode a little more.
We have been lucky enough to have text talk leak into every day writings - instant messages, emails, notes and letters - I've even seen it used on an employment resume. Seriously people - WHAT THE FUCK??????
Sorry.... it's not my number one peeve, but it's up there. Now back to my email guy.
I went to his profile. This is what I saw:
As a cancer I didn't pick the crab but the turtle the reason is on the outside I mite be protective and private but when I peep my head out I enjoy all the things life can offer if ur a friend family member or someone I care about there's isn't anything I wouldn't do for u if I had 2 dollars to my name I would give u one however I don't trust people at first it has to be earned it takes quite a long time to no what makes people tick as a Brooklyn raised Irish itilan man I can read people pretty well and quite honest the less people in ur life the better off u are friends and family there with u to u tape the eternal dirt nap everyone else are strangers was married 12 years lost wife to breast cancer so I have learned life's about moments terribly despair makes u realize how special and precious life is so I don't waste my time on trivial matters drama or nonsense I've had the ups of ups and the downs of downs but that's life its not fair but its pretty good to and u only get one ride about myself love sports went to culinary school in Paris for 1 year love classical music theatre cooking avid reader Seinfeld maniac love erroll Flynn bogie old movies and spontaneous and outgoing people u can't plan life every minute u have to react on ur mood that's what keeps it fresh I have already had the love of my life so I don't have any expectactions but every now and then u mite meet someone who gives u a spark and a new music to ur soul so that's why I'm trying this never been on a website in my life I still believe to connect with someone is up close and personal facial expressions look in ur eyes just because u have same hobbies or interests u still have to have that instant spark I never say never there's always someone who comes along when u least expect it and truly that's how it works but that's the good thing about life sometimes it turns good the other way so on the light side I'm fun no bullsh*tbrutally honest and hey always willing to experience othe women's interests and thoughts I would hate to meet someone like me ha ha the joys of love they last a short time the pains of love last all urr life u gotta take chances sometimes so what the hell I'm trying this Humphrey Bart got it rite when he said the world is 3 drinks behind if everyone had 3 drinks it would be a losser less uptight world its not that complicated u either meet someone and there's violins or there are bongos. And PS to all u women who think all guts are bad I was with the same women for 16 years, so why did the single most important relationship other than ur family fail. It takes 2 for a good relationship or bad so if u live in a materlistic worldand are a shallow self absorbed human being that's what ull get out of life. But if u chose to look further in the depths of somebody that's were true happiness truly yes. Always rember its easy to love and be loved by someone when things are good. But how about god for bid the loss of a child a parent if u lucky to have someone there for u then u have had made the rite choice its a little deeper than u might think that's life.
That was special, wasn't it? Are you cross-eyed or just mortified? In either case.... I couldn't continue an email conversation with him even if I wanted to because I can't figure out if he's trying to insult me or compliment me!
Anyway, had to share that with someone. Why not all of you?
PS - Another 1st date tomorrow night. Been texting/talking/emailing for two weeks now. No expectations, though. Not after 1st Date #1. That unwound faster than a roll of yarn in the paws of a kitten.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Joys of Online Dating - Scene #4
The 1st Date
We set the time for 6:30-6:45 but we didn't make it until then. I'm not sure who was more excited and can only speak for myself when I say I was pretty freakin' giddy. We met at 6:15pm. He was waiting for me beside his car in the parking lot. He looked just like his pictures. A relief. I got a big hug. Very nice.
An hour and a half later and we were still talking and laughing at our table in the corner and hadn't ordered dinner yet. He was sweet and nice and funny and quirky. He talked and he listened. He asked me questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested in hearing the answers. On occasion, he reached across the table and took my hands in his. And I let him. And just in case he wasn't making enough of a mark on me, every so often, he'd quote part of my profile. So not only did he read it, he actually remembered what it said.
We ate a couple of burgers and it was time to get going but not before we decided to take the dogs to the dog park this weekend. He walked me to my car and....
....a lady doesn't kiss and tell.
As my first husband used to say "that's no lady, that's my wife"..... so I'll just say his lips were so very soft and he was a complete gentleman which I was extremely pleased to discover because you know how much I hate the end of a 1st date!
We set the time for 6:30-6:45 but we didn't make it until then. I'm not sure who was more excited and can only speak for myself when I say I was pretty freakin' giddy. We met at 6:15pm. He was waiting for me beside his car in the parking lot. He looked just like his pictures. A relief. I got a big hug. Very nice.
An hour and a half later and we were still talking and laughing at our table in the corner and hadn't ordered dinner yet. He was sweet and nice and funny and quirky. He talked and he listened. He asked me questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested in hearing the answers. On occasion, he reached across the table and took my hands in his. And I let him. And just in case he wasn't making enough of a mark on me, every so often, he'd quote part of my profile. So not only did he read it, he actually remembered what it said.
We ate a couple of burgers and it was time to get going but not before we decided to take the dogs to the dog park this weekend. He walked me to my car and....
....a lady doesn't kiss and tell.
As my first husband used to say "that's no lady, that's my wife"..... so I'll just say his lips were so very soft and he was a complete gentleman which I was extremely pleased to discover because you know how much I hate the end of a 1st date!
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