I Died Today

My name is Harrison.  Today is Wednesday, June 10, 2015.  I died today.

But let me tell you my story.  I'll try to make it brief.  I was born in North Carolina and at 8 weeks old was adopted by a very nice woman and her husband.  She became my mama for life. 

I had two older brothers and a younger sister -Grizz, Indiana, and Bella.

Indiana Jackson

Bella Georgia Rose

Grizz

Life was good and I was happy.  Except when my dad yelled.  Either at me or at mom.  That scared me very much.  But mom knew I didn't know what I was doing wrong when he yelled and she protected me.  Once, when she opened the front door I was so excited to see what was out there, I ran outside and up the street.  It was so neat - I had never been in the front of the house before!  I barely heard mom running behind me yelling my name.  After that mom started some serious training with me.  I never ran out the front door after that and she could even hold it wide open but I just sat there and waited for her to tell me what to do because I loved to make my mama happy.  And once she explained to me what she expected of me, it was really easy to learn.  After all, I was a very smart boy and I had no problem learning what to do.  My sister, on the other hand.... that's another story.  I even did this special test where I had to do all these fun things and listen to my mom really, really carefully and do exactly what she said and there were these funny looking chairs with wheels on them and sticks that people were walking with and all kinds of people and other dogs.  But I did exactly what I was supposed to do and afterwards, they gave me a piece of paper that said I was a Certified Canine Good Citizen.  I don't know what that means, but I know my mom was really happy and proud of me because she kept telling me what a good boy I was and how much she loved me.  None of my brothers or my sister were Canine Good Citizens.  

I was the special one.

I love to sleep, just like my mama!

Mom and I moved a few times.  Without Dad.  I didn't mind - he yelled too much.  We moved without Indiana and Grizz and it was just me and Bella.  I didn't really miss them because we all went to see them every day.  For a while mom was really sad.  She'd cry a lot.  I didn't like when she cried.  I'd leave the room when she did.  It just made me too sad to see her like that.  

My Yaya

My Papi

It wasn't long after that that mama and I packed up the car and we took a really long ride without my sister.  Mom says she went to live with Daddy and Indiana.  We went to see grandma and grandpa or as I call them, Yaya and Papi.  We never left.  We stayed with Yaya and Papi for a while and I discovered stairs.  But better than that, I discovered snow.  Snow was really cool and I loved running around in it.  I'd hop around in it like a rabbit.  My mom would just laugh and laugh.  We had such good times together.  Life was such an adventure!  And she always took me with her.  I didn't really miss my brothers and sister because I had mama all to myself and I got all her love and didn't have to share it with them.  Plus, Yaya and Papi loved me now, too, and I loved them.

One of my 1st Snowfalls in NJ

We moved a few more times after that but I always loved my home because I was there with mom.  She showered me with love and treats and bones and good food.  I had more toys than I could even play with!  My favorite was my squeaky ball.  I loved to chase my squeaky ball.  We used to have great games of fetch and I even knew how to bring the ball back to my mom

so she could throw it again for me.

You can watch me play fetch with Papi in this video:

Sometimes I'd stay with mama's good friend, Frank.  He had a little dog and we became friends, too.  But he was much older than me so we didn't play or anything.  I still liked him though- he was mellow, like me.  I loved Uncle Frank.  He spoiled me.  He always let me lay on him and he'd pet me as long as I'd lay there.  I really liked sitting on his feet.

My buddy, Uncle Frank

See Uncle Frank? I'm laying on him.

I turned 10 on November 29, 2014 - that's 70 in my own years.  

I was loving life and all my adventures.  I'd been on boats, to the beach, swimming in pools, to street fairs, to North Carolina and New Jersey and everywhere in between.... no matter what my mama did, I was her co-pilot in life.  She took me wherever she could.

Mom always took me with her. 

Shortly after the new year something changed.  I felt different.  There was something that didn't belong.  Something was growing inside me.  I wanted to be closer to my mama after that.  Physically.  When she sat on the couch, I got as close to her as I could - sometimes on top of her if she'd let me 

(and she usually did).  

It just made me feel better to have her stroking my fur and holding me.  She let me sleep in bed with her every night at this point.  Instead of always sleeping at the foot of the bed like I usually did, I would get right up by her head.  She'd wrap her arm around me and I'd fall asleep on her chest. 

We did that a lot.  

I think she really liked it.  

She always told me I was the best dog ever.  

I think my mama knew something was wrong, too.  We went to the doctor but the doctor just said I might be starting the beginning stages of senility.  I don't think mom bought it.  Around the same time, a lump started growing on the side of my chest.  I had a bunch of lumps.  But this one was different.  It grew fast.  We went to the doctor again and mom found out my liver was a little off.  I took meds for a month but it didn't help.  I knew it wouldn't.  The lump grew bigger.  They looked at my insides and saw an even bigger lump - the doctor called it a tumor.  They told my mom in March that I had cancer.  A huge tumor in my liver and more little ones in my spleen.  The doctor said he didn't think I'd make it to 2016.  Mom was upset.  And that's when the chicken started.  I got LOTS of chicken!  Mom didn't cry much after that - every now and again.  But for the most part, we just enjoyed every day together.  She hand fed me my dinner a lot of nights.  That was fun - it was kind of like a game.  I still ran around a lot because my energy level was pretty high.

Then I had two seizures in a week.  I didn't really feel anything but it was pretty upsetting for Yaya, Papi and mama.  We went to the doctor each time.  You know, I don't know what all the other dogs fuss about with the doctor because I loved going there!  All the girls were always so nice to me and pet me and loved me and told me what a good and handsome boy I was.  Anyway, I digress.... it started to hurt a little to jump off of mama's bed but she'd help me when I'd let her.  Other than that, I wasn't too uncomfortable.  I didn't let mom know, anyway.  Until I couldn't stand that lump anymore.  I bit it one night and it started to bleed.  It never really stopped.  

Mom and Yaya and I went to the doctor again.  He told her I wouldn't get any better - only worse from that point on.  Mom had always asked me to let her know when it was time to let me go.  I did my best to let her know that day.  But I was so happy, it was hard.  I think she heard me, though.  Because I played with my cousin Toby that morning and ran around like a fool.  

Then mom gave me the biggest bone ever.  When Toby stole it, they yelled at him and gave it back to me and put him in the kitchen so I could chew on my bone in peace.  After that, Yaya and mom and I went to visit another lady I loved.  The chicken lady.  I got spaghetti and meatballs!!!  A lot of it!!!  After that we met Uncle Frank for ice cream and I got my very own cone!  I couldn't even finish it, I was so full!!

We went back to Yaya and Papi's house and mom and I took a nap on the floor.  Those were some of my favorite times - napping with my mama.  
And then we went back to the doctor.  

I know how hard it was for my mom to let me go.  I'm glad she did, though..... she didn't want me to suffer - not even for a day.  I was happy - I had such a wonderful life with her.  All the adventures we took together!  I was loved by many.  I didn't mind that it was my time to go.  I would miss her and I know she'd miss me..... but it was time.  Yaya and mom stroked my fur and told me how much they loved me and what a good dog I was.  But I got so tired, so quickly and I had to go to sleep.  

Yaya says I'm still just sleeping.  Mom knows I'm sleeping in her heart and I will always be there with her.  I'll never leave her.  And I know she'll never forget me.  I was her first good boy.  The best dog ever.  Her co-pilot.  And I will wait for her however long it takes to see her again....over the Rainbow Bridge.

HARRISON BUFFETT

Rest in Peace, My Sweet Boy

11-29-04 - 06-10-15
Dog Is My Co-Pilot

Video of me Swimming in the Pool:

I love you so very much, Harrison Buffett.
You saved my life more than once.  I didn't rescue you, you rescued me.  
My life will never be the same and through all this pain of missing you, I wouldn't trade the last 10.5 years with you for anything in this world.
You were my first...and there will never be another like you.
Bubbaloo, Bubbers, Baba Booey, Hairball, Har, Buggaboo, 
Harry Harrison, Bubs, Pumpkin, Lumpey.
I called you a lot of things but the one consistent thing I called you 
was my best friend.
You are the only being who got that honor for 10.5 years straight.  
But really, it was MY honor.  I will miss you more than words can say.  
My world will not be the same without you here.  
I feel like part of my body is missing.  
But you let me know it was time and I could not let you suffer even one day 
and all I can do is take solace in knowing I did right by you.

It was one hell of a ride, wasn't it, my handsome boy?

I will see you again someday.  Count on it.  
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Mama 

Happy 10th Birthday, Dog

Dog Is My Co-Pilot.... and he turns 10 today.  I don't know where the time goes and I can't believe he's been with me for 10 years but I'm grateful for every day he's been in my life.  I can only hope for many more, as I can't imagine life without the unconditional love of this walking ball of fur.

He knows all my secrets, has seen me at my worst, loved me at my best, played the fool when I needed to laugh, kept me warm on nights too cold, and been my reason for living when I felt I couldn't go on. 

I only hope I can be all for him that he's been for me and continue to give him the best life for each precious day I have left with him.  I cherish them all.

My heart is full because of you, 

Harrison Buffett.  You rescued me more than I could've ever rescued you.  xoxoxoxox

 “He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is job abounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me… whenever… wherever – in case I need him. And I expect I will – as I always have. He is just my dog.”   ~Gene Hill

Don't Screw With Your Dog

Love, love, LOVE it!  :D

To My Loving Dog....

To my loving dog who I could not bear the thought of living without,

Please stop feeling the absolute need to lay directly beneath wherever I am sitting in fear that you might miss something because on the very rare occasion that I get up and don't look for you (like earlier today), I will step on you and you will become startled and jump to your feet which will cause my legs to get entangled in all four of your legs and your body, which will ultimately cause me to lose my balance completely and fall to the floor, hitting it's surface very hard because I am not a skinny little bitch anymore.  Whichever part of my overweight body hits the floor first will undoubtedly bruise and most likely hurt for the following week.  Being completely out of shape and another year older tomorrow, it is no doubt that I will also tweak something in my back and in about 3 hours, that will start to ache as well. 

In closing, my dear dog, I love you more than anything in this world, but you really gotta cut that shit out!

-Your human

Another 1st Date

I keep doing it.  I'm told I have to forge on.... I have to weed them out.  I, myself, say it's process of elimination.  Sure, it makes sense, but is it realistic? 

I went on yet another first day tonight.  My parents laugh when I tell them because they say I have no interest in dating anyone.  It could be true.  Who knows.  Yet, I continue to put myself through it.  I keep saying one of these times it will be the right one.  Is it just a joke?  Is the joke on me?  Yes, I'm happy.  Yes, I'm content by myself.  Yet I'm open to a relationship.  But then, when I find the possibility of one, I seem to have no interest.  I'd say it's me, but there was John.  Ah yes, the infamous John.  Thank goodness for him, really, though, because if it wasn't for him, I would SWEAR it was me.  But...... he was real.  I.....fell for him.  Some might say I loved him.  Who knows.  I don't even know what the fuck love is.  But whatever it was, I had it - felt it - for him.  So there.  I know I'm not broken.  Or fucked up.  I know I CAN feel and want and, dare I say it..... love. 

So I go on yet another 1st date tonight.  To sing karaoke.  At a place this guy frequents.  Great.  He knows everyone in the joint, including the owner.  Wooohooo.  Now if I was a timid, reserved woman, this might be a problem.  But I'm none of those things.  I'm me.  Eventually, he leaves and I'm left there, with the people HE knows because I'm having a good time so why should I go home?  He has to get back to his 14 and 15 year old, you know?  That's fine.  I tell him he can just tell me if he didn't have a good time or whatever the case is - it's all good.  I had a good time, blah, blah, blah.  Whatever.... I don't have time to try and figure him out.  Either tell me what's on your mind or keep it to yourself and deal with it on your own.  To be quite honest, there were plenty of things he did that turned me off but you know - whatever.

So I'm having a good time.  I sing a song for the birthday girl who is having a party there.  Now it's time for me to go.  I've had a few drinks and I know if I stay, I'll just get into trouble.  This 33 year old walks out with me (mind you, he looks 22 and is cute as a freaking button).... we are talking and talking..... he asks me if I'm going to another bar.  I say no.  I wonder if he's hitting on me and I'm just too stupid to realize it (because you know, he just got engaged and all).  Then, as I'm running to my car in the rain, I tell him "You're too freaking cute!"...... Why did I not stay?????

So I leave and I'm driving home contemplating all of it.  What was a 33 year old doing in the parking lot with me?  He made several comments that any normal person would construe as hitting on me, except for me..... I'm too dumb.  I'm on my way home when I'm thinking what a waste that was.  How the person I went there to meet turned out to be most likely a big fat zero but yet I had a 33 year old flirting with me from the second my "date" walked out the door and what did I do?  A big fat NOTHING.  And then it happens.  The meaning of life.  What is it?  Why am I here?  What's the purpose?  FOR WHAT?  Ugh.  Not a good time for all that to kick in.

It was looong ride home.  It was rainy and I was crying.  I parked my car in the parking lot and put the seat back and sat there for a little bit.  Quite frankly, I didn't really give a shit what happened at that point.  And that wasn't the first thought like that I had all night.  There were several times driving home that I thought it.  Not good.  Why?  The alcohol, surely.    I'm alone because I chose to be alone yet do I want to be alone?  Yes.  Then why do I keep going on these first dates?  And what the fuck is my problem?  Ah, if I only knew. 

My dog is curled up in a ball next to me on the bed.  That seems to be the only sure thing in my life right now.  Rather.... it's usually the sure thing in my life.  My boy.  My Harrison.  Dog is my co-pilot.  Lord give me many more years with the mutt.  I don't know how many more 1st dates I can weather without him by my side.

The Dog Video That Never Gets Old

It doesn't matter how many times I see it.... it never gets old.

Enjoy and Happy Weekend, everyone!!!

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!

One Happy Dog (just not mine)

I saw this on another blog and loved it.  I thought it was time for something light-hearted and happy. 

The woman's caption said she wished everyone was as happy as this dog.

Or she'd accept even half as happy. True enough. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

The Joys of Online Dating

Before I knew it, shortly after the new year rang in, I found myself reactivating my profile on PlentyOfFish.com.  Perhaps because I believe that you never know where, when, or how you will find love.  Perhaps because I'm a glutton for punishment.  I either case, I've decided to blog about the entertaining people who are contacting me on this site.  First, though, I think I should print my profile for you so you know exactly what these people are reading (if  they are reading at all).  My profile reads as follows:

Interests:

 

(these ares listed in 3 columns and is simply a list of likes/interests)

Singing, music, Dahlias, drums, photography, the smell of fresh cut grass, big dogs, the beach at dusk, boats, the river, ping-pong, presents, shooting pool, movies, dining out, my family, surprises, making Italian dishes, four-wheeling, champagne, small towns, cat's bellies, Halloween, hats, hot baths, Christmas lights, ghosts, stick shifts, big sweatshirts, pit bulls, green eyes, rainy day naps, pony tails, paw prints, trying things I've never done, live music, not beating around the bush, strawberries, German shepherds, dominance, saying what you feel, Jimmy Buffett, quoting stupid movies, long passionate kisses

About Me:

There are only two things I can think of that will immediately halt our communications almost immediately:

 

 

1. You do not like dogs.
2. You think there is something wrong with same sex relationships.

Other than that, I don't care what kind of politics you like, what you drive, where you work, what you did in your past, who you dated..... if we connect and there is chemistry - that's what is important.  If you get me and we click - that's what's important.  If you are nice to waitresses and hold doors for strangers - that's what's important. 

I'm not going to write a big, long story here, describing myself to the world wide Internet.  If you're interested in getting to know me, feel free to send me a message with whatever you'd like to know (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it).  If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website.

What I will tell you is that I am happy with where I am at this point in my life.  I have no regrets... my past has helped me become who I am today and I like that person.  I believe that in this short life we're given, it's not about the hand we're dealt, but how we play it.  I have a job I love, a roof over my head, no debt and bills that are paid on time, a dog I adore and family that I enjoy spending time with.  I am an eternal optimist and a big goofball.  I love people and can (and often do) talk to strangers, yet at the same time, people bug the shit out of me probably because I have a low tolerance for stupidity and helplessness (I can explain that further if we ever meet - it's not as bad as it maybe sounds). LOL. I'm going to leave it there.  Thanks for stopping by.  Happy New Year!

First Date:

You decide.  Just tell me how to dress - jeans and a sweatshirt for the dog park or heels and a dress for dinner.  I like a decisive man so he should make that decision if he's going to ask me out.  I'm pretty easy in this area - I am comfortable staying in, going out, at the dog park, at the corner dive, at a five star restaurant - I can fit in anywhere.

(the pictures posted here are the photos on my profile)

That's it.

About 15 minutes ago I received an invitation to chat from HelloLadies21 located somewhere near Levittown, PA.  His opening line: "your sexy"

I asked him where he was located (I believe he listed a county in PA).... he said about 45 minutes from me.  Trying to locate his distance on Bingmaps so I could politely tell him he was too far from me (I just wasn't interested, period - not with someone who starts a conversation with someone they've never even spoken to with "your sexy"), I asked him if he was near Levittown.  He answered yes and I commented that I used to have family there.

He said "you coming to see me?" 
I answered "that would be a no."
He said "I'm trying." 

I asked if he was trying and he said yes.  I asked him if an opening line of "your sexy" usually worked for him.  He said it sometimes did.  I asked for who - women who want to get laid?  He laughed. 
As I'm about to tell him I'm not interested because he's located too far from me, he writes "your eyes say your a devil in bed. are you?" 

I asked if he read my profile or just looked at the pictures. 
He said "both." 
I answered "what part about this was confusing to you?: (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it). If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website." 
He answered "I ignore it." 
At that point I said "There you go.  Bye."

Before I could sign out of the chat session, I was lucky enough to see his response. 
It read "Later WHORE."

Now this does not surprise me.  What I find amusing is that this person apparently likes whores, because before I said goodbye, he was all about wanting to meet me.  OR, did I suddenly become a whore because I was not interested in him?  AND... if that's the case, I find that amusing because I was being the exact opposite of an actual whore.  Now had he called me a bitch, that would be more appropriate (even though I was quite nice to him).  You get my point. 

This was not the first amusing contact I've had with the opposite sex.  This is just the most recent. 

Comments anyone?

PS - my dog lays sleeping at my feet.  My constant and loyal companion.  The only real unconditional love I have ever known from the male species.