Don't Screw With Your Dog

Love, love, LOVE it!  :D

To My Loving Dog....

To my loving dog who I could not bear the thought of living without,

Please stop feeling the absolute need to lay directly beneath wherever I am sitting in fear that you might miss something because on the very rare occasion that I get up and don't look for you (like earlier today), I will step on you and you will become startled and jump to your feet which will cause my legs to get entangled in all four of your legs and your body, which will ultimately cause me to lose my balance completely and fall to the floor, hitting it's surface very hard because I am not a skinny little bitch anymore.  Whichever part of my overweight body hits the floor first will undoubtedly bruise and most likely hurt for the following week.  Being completely out of shape and another year older tomorrow, it is no doubt that I will also tweak something in my back and in about 3 hours, that will start to ache as well. 

In closing, my dear dog, I love you more than anything in this world, but you really gotta cut that shit out!

-Your human

Another 1st Date

I keep doing it.  I'm told I have to forge on.... I have to weed them out.  I, myself, say it's process of elimination.  Sure, it makes sense, but is it realistic? 

I went on yet another first day tonight.  My parents laugh when I tell them because they say I have no interest in dating anyone.  It could be true.  Who knows.  Yet, I continue to put myself through it.  I keep saying one of these times it will be the right one.  Is it just a joke?  Is the joke on me?  Yes, I'm happy.  Yes, I'm content by myself.  Yet I'm open to a relationship.  But then, when I find the possibility of one, I seem to have no interest.  I'd say it's me, but there was John.  Ah yes, the infamous John.  Thank goodness for him, really, though, because if it wasn't for him, I would SWEAR it was me.  But...... he was real.  I.....fell for him.  Some might say I loved him.  Who knows.  I don't even know what the fuck love is.  But whatever it was, I had it - felt it - for him.  So there.  I know I'm not broken.  Or fucked up.  I know I CAN feel and want and, dare I say it..... love. 

So I go on yet another 1st date tonight.  To sing karaoke.  At a place this guy frequents.  Great.  He knows everyone in the joint, including the owner.  Wooohooo.  Now if I was a timid, reserved woman, this might be a problem.  But I'm none of those things.  I'm me.  Eventually, he leaves and I'm left there, with the people HE knows because I'm having a good time so why should I go home?  He has to get back to his 14 and 15 year old, you know?  That's fine.  I tell him he can just tell me if he didn't have a good time or whatever the case is - it's all good.  I had a good time, blah, blah, blah.  Whatever.... I don't have time to try and figure him out.  Either tell me what's on your mind or keep it to yourself and deal with it on your own.  To be quite honest, there were plenty of things he did that turned me off but you know - whatever.

So I'm having a good time.  I sing a song for the birthday girl who is having a party there.  Now it's time for me to go.  I've had a few drinks and I know if I stay, I'll just get into trouble.  This 33 year old walks out with me (mind you, he looks 22 and is cute as a freaking button).... we are talking and talking..... he asks me if I'm going to another bar.  I say no.  I wonder if he's hitting on me and I'm just too stupid to realize it (because you know, he just got engaged and all).  Then, as I'm running to my car in the rain, I tell him "You're too freaking cute!"...... Why did I not stay?????

So I leave and I'm driving home contemplating all of it.  What was a 33 year old doing in the parking lot with me?  He made several comments that any normal person would construe as hitting on me, except for me..... I'm too dumb.  I'm on my way home when I'm thinking what a waste that was.  How the person I went there to meet turned out to be most likely a big fat zero but yet I had a 33 year old flirting with me from the second my "date" walked out the door and what did I do?  A big fat NOTHING.  And then it happens.  The meaning of life.  What is it?  Why am I here?  What's the purpose?  FOR WHAT?  Ugh.  Not a good time for all that to kick in.

It was looong ride home.  It was rainy and I was crying.  I parked my car in the parking lot and put the seat back and sat there for a little bit.  Quite frankly, I didn't really give a shit what happened at that point.  And that wasn't the first thought like that I had all night.  There were several times driving home that I thought it.  Not good.  Why?  The alcohol, surely.    I'm alone because I chose to be alone yet do I want to be alone?  Yes.  Then why do I keep going on these first dates?  And what the fuck is my problem?  Ah, if I only knew. 

My dog is curled up in a ball next to me on the bed.  That seems to be the only sure thing in my life right now.  Rather.... it's usually the sure thing in my life.  My boy.  My Harrison.  Dog is my co-pilot.  Lord give me many more years with the mutt.  I don't know how many more 1st dates I can weather without him by my side.

The Dog Video That Never Gets Old

It doesn't matter how many times I see it.... it never gets old.

Enjoy and Happy Weekend, everyone!!!

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!

One Happy Dog (just not mine)

I saw this on another blog and loved it.  I thought it was time for something light-hearted and happy. 

The woman's caption said she wished everyone was as happy as this dog.

Or she'd accept even half as happy. True enough. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #3

I've got a date.  I know - scary.  What's even scarier is that I haven't canceled it yet.  Anyone who knows me knows I cancel all first dates by the time the day of the date rolls around.  Five hours and counting.  And there's not a chance in Hell I'm canceling this one. 

He emailed me on Monday (as in, two days ago).  He sent only two sentences which would normally not sit well with me.  He asked that I write back.  Then he wrote "pretty please" in caps.  How could I not?  His profile read well, his pictures looked good (hard to see but for one), he had things to say, I LIKED what he said, he was close by..... I'm sure there's something wrong with him, I thought.

I logged onto the dating site in hopes to find him there.  I wanted to chat with seemingly Mr. Perfect-For-Me.  He wasn't on.  I futzed around doing other things.  As I was about to log off, I saw him.  I IM'd him.  Connection.  We chatted for about 30 minutes.  He seemed as good as his profile.  Okay.  Caution.  He asked me to call him.  You know I hate the phone.  I called.  An hour and a half (or so - I lost track of time) we hung up.  I think I smiled most of the conversation.  He wanted to meet me.  I wanted the same.

The next day I talked to him during my entire lunch hour.  When could he see me?  When did he want to meet, I asked.  "A half hour ago" he said.  Big smile.  Damn - he keeps saying the right things.  The following night.  He picked the place.

Each time we talk, email, or text, we find more we think alike or have in common.  It's downright eerie.  Tonight will be interesting, to say the least.  All I know is I haven't been looking forward to a date this much in I don't know how long.  My guess would be John, dare I speak the name?  I'd say my golden rule of not getting my hopes up is still intact but I'd by lying through my teeth fingers.

Did I mention he has a black lab?

The Electronic Fence

I called Hidden Fence and the next day a man was in my yard to install the electronic fence for my dog. He needs to be able to go hang out in the yard and be safe. My Wilmington home has a fenced backyard but here in New Jersey, there is none. And since this is where I'm living, we make the proper adjustments. It's more for my mom. When I return to Corporate America, I want it to be as easy for her as possible to help me care for her new security system. :) All she'll have to do is open the door and Har can hang out in the yard for as long as he likes.

So now comes the training for the fence. Now Harrison has his Canine Good Citizen Certification with the AKC (American Kennel Club) so he is very well trained but I've never used an electronic collar on him for anything. And, the reason he is CGC certified is because he was going to be a certified Therapy Dog - only certain dogs have the right temperament to do this and Harrison was always a very sensitive pup. Well, hell fire! That collar was on 2.5 out of 10 - extremely low (I put it on myself and walked near the flags)... he goes near the perimeter of the yard and gets zapped and you'd think we were killing him! The crying and jumping - all fours came off the ground - and that was the FOURTH time he got zapped. It's now Day 3 and this dog will not walk anywhere near those flags and I've not moved the setting from 2.5 even though I was advised to do so. Yesterday, the neighbor's dog came into the yard and Harrison walked slowly toward him, got a zap and said "Pft - you're SO not worth it" and turned around and came back. I know they say I should turn that collar up but can you imagine if he got zapped with it on, say, 5? I think the neighbors might call the cops at that point.

The Big Move

On Tuesday Sept 8, the day after Labor Day, at 2:15 in the morning, I loaded my dog in the Penske truck that was parked in my driveway and we started our 10 hour trip from Wilmington, NC to New Jersey, my beautiful home getting further and further with each passing mile.... but Harrison was there by my side, ready to take on whatever adventure came our way. We should have the same enthusiasm for life as dogs. Even when it seems things can't get any worse, a car ride will cure all your worries.

12 hours later (I had to nap) we arrived at our destination, car in tow, to my welcoming parents. If I've learned one thing over the last six years, it's that husbands and friends will come and go but your family is there to stay and they'll never let you fall (not even at age 40 and you need to move back home... with your dog... and all your crap).

That was a little more than a week ago and I'm just about all unpacked and settled into my room. I talked the lady of the house into letting the dog upstairs, but only in my room. It only took three hours of barking and howling while we tried to sleep for that compromise to take place (way to go, Har!). The bed is nice and high and he sleeps under me every night. He's happy, I'm happy, my parents sleep with no howling so they're happy.