Home Is Where The Heart Is

I guess I’m feeling a little melancholy today and didn’t even realize it until now (at half past noon) because a song just came on the radio and it literally made me stop what I was doing and sit there until I started to cry as the lyrics rolled on.


"Promise me you'll always be happy by my side and I promise I'll sing to you when all the music dies."  I'm pretty sure that did it.

I’m not sure when it happened but somewhere along the way I lost the hope and faith and eternal optimism I’ve always seemed to not try hard to have (sorry Matty) that I’ll find him (or her). That everything happens for a reason and when the time is right -usually when you’re not looking- you’ll find them. That there is someone for everyone. That someone will love me for exactly who I am. Oh, you know….. all those clichés that I actually believe(d).

My girlfriend says I need to really believe it. That I need to “put it out there” and I’ll “get it back” or something like that (I really was listening, Alisa – you know I just have a hard time retaining). She says it’s all about energy and I can’t have negative energy or it’ll never happen. Well guess what? I’ve got the negative energy... and lots of it! It’s all around me. I can’t rid myself of it because, well, I don’t believe the bullshit anymore, I suppose. Or maybe I’m just going through some kind of shitty phase. I’m think I’m gonna go with that because it’s easier to accept.

But I’m not going to sit here and whine about how I can’t find that special one for me. It’s just so, whiny, you know? Just know that if I were a negative barometer, I’d be at a minus 10 right about now!!

The Big Move

On Tuesday Sept 8, the day after Labor Day, at 2:15 in the morning, I loaded my dog in the Penske truck that was parked in my driveway and we started our 10 hour trip from Wilmington, NC to New Jersey, my beautiful home getting further and further with each passing mile.... but Harrison was there by my side, ready to take on whatever adventure came our way. We should have the same enthusiasm for life as dogs. Even when it seems things can't get any worse, a car ride will cure all your worries.

12 hours later (I had to nap) we arrived at our destination, car in tow, to my welcoming parents. If I've learned one thing over the last six years, it's that husbands and friends will come and go but your family is there to stay and they'll never let you fall (not even at age 40 and you need to move back home... with your dog... and all your crap).

That was a little more than a week ago and I'm just about all unpacked and settled into my room. I talked the lady of the house into letting the dog upstairs, but only in my room. It only took three hours of barking and howling while we tried to sleep for that compromise to take place (way to go, Har!). The bed is nice and high and he sleeps under me every night. He's happy, I'm happy, my parents sleep with no howling so they're happy.