The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #3

I've got a date.  I know - scary.  What's even scarier is that I haven't canceled it yet.  Anyone who knows me knows I cancel all first dates by the time the day of the date rolls around.  Five hours and counting.  And there's not a chance in Hell I'm canceling this one. 

He emailed me on Monday (as in, two days ago).  He sent only two sentences which would normally not sit well with me.  He asked that I write back.  Then he wrote "pretty please" in caps.  How could I not?  His profile read well, his pictures looked good (hard to see but for one), he had things to say, I LIKED what he said, he was close by..... I'm sure there's something wrong with him, I thought.

I logged onto the dating site in hopes to find him there.  I wanted to chat with seemingly Mr. Perfect-For-Me.  He wasn't on.  I futzed around doing other things.  As I was about to log off, I saw him.  I IM'd him.  Connection.  We chatted for about 30 minutes.  He seemed as good as his profile.  Okay.  Caution.  He asked me to call him.  You know I hate the phone.  I called.  An hour and a half (or so - I lost track of time) we hung up.  I think I smiled most of the conversation.  He wanted to meet me.  I wanted the same.

The next day I talked to him during my entire lunch hour.  When could he see me?  When did he want to meet, I asked.  "A half hour ago" he said.  Big smile.  Damn - he keeps saying the right things.  The following night.  He picked the place.

Each time we talk, email, or text, we find more we think alike or have in common.  It's downright eerie.  Tonight will be interesting, to say the least.  All I know is I haven't been looking forward to a date this much in I don't know how long.  My guess would be John, dare I speak the name?  I'd say my golden rule of not getting my hopes up is still intact but I'd by lying through my teeth fingers.

Did I mention he has a black lab?

The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #2

Sexyman0012 from Thailand is "looking long term relationship" and "if I don't mind can we know each other more?"  Yes, you read right - THAILAND (Oh, did you have a hard time making out what he wrote?  Welcome to my world.).  I live in the good ole' US of A.  This is not the first out-of-the-country request I've gotten to get to know me.  At first I thought out of state emails were.... questionable.  Pennsylvania, okay.  We're neighbors and Easton is only a 45 minute drive.  California?  Um, maybe not.

So now the Thailand email comes.  I reply asking him how he thinks a long term relationship will work from Thailand to the United States.  I tell him I don't think it will work out well so I'm sorry, but we can't "know each other more."

His reply:

"dear just easy t think if you are looking honest man am here relationship work with heart not with countrys honey if you change yours mind email me thanks"

Now I'm all for letting my heart take the lead sometimes and all that other mushy shit but relationships work with the heart, not with countries?  I'm going to have to disagree with that one.  I'd at least like to see my man, say, once a week?!?!  The once a year thing might be a bit hard for me to work around. 

Do you think if someone asked him what his requirements were for a girlfriend, his answer would be "a passport"?

The Joys of Online Dating

Before I knew it, shortly after the new year rang in, I found myself reactivating my profile on PlentyOfFish.com.  Perhaps because I believe that you never know where, when, or how you will find love.  Perhaps because I'm a glutton for punishment.  I either case, I've decided to blog about the entertaining people who are contacting me on this site.  First, though, I think I should print my profile for you so you know exactly what these people are reading (if  they are reading at all).  My profile reads as follows:

Interests:

 

(these ares listed in 3 columns and is simply a list of likes/interests)

Singing, music, Dahlias, drums, photography, the smell of fresh cut grass, big dogs, the beach at dusk, boats, the river, ping-pong, presents, shooting pool, movies, dining out, my family, surprises, making Italian dishes, four-wheeling, champagne, small towns, cat's bellies, Halloween, hats, hot baths, Christmas lights, ghosts, stick shifts, big sweatshirts, pit bulls, green eyes, rainy day naps, pony tails, paw prints, trying things I've never done, live music, not beating around the bush, strawberries, German shepherds, dominance, saying what you feel, Jimmy Buffett, quoting stupid movies, long passionate kisses

About Me:

There are only two things I can think of that will immediately halt our communications almost immediately:

 

 

1. You do not like dogs.
2. You think there is something wrong with same sex relationships.

Other than that, I don't care what kind of politics you like, what you drive, where you work, what you did in your past, who you dated..... if we connect and there is chemistry - that's what is important.  If you get me and we click - that's what's important.  If you are nice to waitresses and hold doors for strangers - that's what's important. 

I'm not going to write a big, long story here, describing myself to the world wide Internet.  If you're interested in getting to know me, feel free to send me a message with whatever you'd like to know (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it).  If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website.

What I will tell you is that I am happy with where I am at this point in my life.  I have no regrets... my past has helped me become who I am today and I like that person.  I believe that in this short life we're given, it's not about the hand we're dealt, but how we play it.  I have a job I love, a roof over my head, no debt and bills that are paid on time, a dog I adore and family that I enjoy spending time with.  I am an eternal optimist and a big goofball.  I love people and can (and often do) talk to strangers, yet at the same time, people bug the shit out of me probably because I have a low tolerance for stupidity and helplessness (I can explain that further if we ever meet - it's not as bad as it maybe sounds). LOL. I'm going to leave it there.  Thanks for stopping by.  Happy New Year!

First Date:

You decide.  Just tell me how to dress - jeans and a sweatshirt for the dog park or heels and a dress for dinner.  I like a decisive man so he should make that decision if he's going to ask me out.  I'm pretty easy in this area - I am comfortable staying in, going out, at the dog park, at the corner dive, at a five star restaurant - I can fit in anywhere.

(the pictures posted here are the photos on my profile)

That's it.

About 15 minutes ago I received an invitation to chat from HelloLadies21 located somewhere near Levittown, PA.  His opening line: "your sexy"

I asked him where he was located (I believe he listed a county in PA).... he said about 45 minutes from me.  Trying to locate his distance on Bingmaps so I could politely tell him he was too far from me (I just wasn't interested, period - not with someone who starts a conversation with someone they've never even spoken to with "your sexy"), I asked him if he was near Levittown.  He answered yes and I commented that I used to have family there.

He said "you coming to see me?" 
I answered "that would be a no."
He said "I'm trying." 

I asked if he was trying and he said yes.  I asked him if an opening line of "your sexy" usually worked for him.  He said it sometimes did.  I asked for who - women who want to get laid?  He laughed. 
As I'm about to tell him I'm not interested because he's located too far from me, he writes "your eyes say your a devil in bed. are you?" 

I asked if he read my profile or just looked at the pictures. 
He said "both." 
I answered "what part about this was confusing to you?: (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it). If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website." 
He answered "I ignore it." 
At that point I said "There you go.  Bye."

Before I could sign out of the chat session, I was lucky enough to see his response. 
It read "Later WHORE."

Now this does not surprise me.  What I find amusing is that this person apparently likes whores, because before I said goodbye, he was all about wanting to meet me.  OR, did I suddenly become a whore because I was not interested in him?  AND... if that's the case, I find that amusing because I was being the exact opposite of an actual whore.  Now had he called me a bitch, that would be more appropriate (even though I was quite nice to him).  You get my point. 

This was not the first amusing contact I've had with the opposite sex.  This is just the most recent. 

Comments anyone?

PS - my dog lays sleeping at my feet.  My constant and loyal companion.  The only real unconditional love I have ever known from the male species.

Another New Year

Another year has come and gone.  I will say it was a better year than the previous one.  2011 found me out of my parents house and in my own apartment, out of Hell (the worst job I think I ever had) and at a company I love, broken up with someone I could've fallen in love with - wait - that's not good.  Well.... two out of three ain't bad.  The job was probably the most important of the three.  My livlihood?  Yeah, I'd say so.  Kind of ironic that working for a health and wellness center made me sick to my stomach, not to mention having more ailments than ever!  Why is that?  Oh, because the people running the place were (are) assholes?  Yes, that's right.  Seven months after I'm gone and there are about 5 people left there that were employed when I was there.  Pretty pathetic.  Karma certainly has it's work cut out with those two morons, that's for sure.  I think the best very well could've been when the supposed owner (I say supposed, because she is a pathological liar so you never really knew what was true or not) emailed me the entire company's paystubs by mistake.  This, from someone who didn't make mistakes.  Don't get me started. 

So, it's time, once again, for our resolutions.  Good intentions.  Shit that won't last.  One of mine is to be nicer to a good friend of mine.  One of my coworker said I should be nicer to my coworkers.  Hmmm.... NAH!  My coworkers should stop being lazy and do some work and then I'll be nicer.  I didn't bother resolving to stop saying fuck.  That doesn't usually last more than about 12 hours into the New Year.  What else?  To start an IRA.  That I intend to do.  Anything else?  I don't think so.  I don't want to overdo it.  Oh..... 2012 found me posting a profile on PlentyOfFish.com.  Because OKCupid wasn't enough torture, I suppose.  Free dating sites.  Let's all the crazies sign up.

Oh.... three days before 2011 ended, my dear friend, Rob, set me off good enough for me to have no interest in speaking with him for an indefinite amount of time.  That does not happen often.  It's January 6 and I still haven't spoken to him (or emailed, texted, IM'd or any other form of communication).  I'm sure the reply email I sent him in response to the one that pissed me off so much pissed him off pretty good, as well, leaving him no interest in speaking to me.  Two wrongs don't make a right, but I was just letting him know how I felt.  Pretty fucking mad and insulted.  I think he knows now.

That's all for now.  Until next time, my few and faithful readers.....

That's What Friends Are For (or are they?)

I've had many friends throughout my life. Of course, my idea of what a friend is has changed many times over the years. I guess that's normal as we get older and wiser. When I was a child, I thought my best friend then would always be my best friend. I didn't know any better. Who am I kidding, even as a young adult, after having quite a few "best friends" I thought the one I had at that point in time was going to be it until I got old and gray. This is the part of me that is forever optimistic and always seeing the good in people. At 42 I still hold on to that shit (even though I call it shit) and believe it always works out the way it is supposed to (which is supposed to be good) and people, deep down, will do the right thing. Shit, right? Yeah, well, I didn't say it was accurate, I just said I still hang on to it.

  

Anyway....I read something once early on - a poem or some such thing. I just looked it up (gotta love the Internet) - it was the Reason, Season and Lifetime friend poem and it said people either come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some of it is hokey but some of it made a whole lot of sense to me. It made me understand why friends come and go. Or maybe it just gave me a reason to believe why they went. Because sometimes I just didn't understand. I started to think my expectations were too high.  Or maybe there was something wrong with me. Or maybe I didn't deserve friends who stayed. 

I like to think that people do come into your life for a reason and you may not know what that is until quite some time down the road because it hurts when they go, but eventually, you do figure it out. Some of my friends now are text friends. Some are shopping friends. Some are hang out and have a beer friends. And some.... very few.... would drive an hour, at three in the morning to come and pick me up if I called them because I needed a ride. Those people.... they are my friends. If you're lucky, you get a few of those in your life and you hang on to them. I've never been one of those people, though, who had a friend like that since kindergarten or grammar school or even high school. I always envied people who had that and wished I did.

What I do have is one friend who I've known since 1988. He is, by far, the person I've known the longest and am still extremely close with. He is and always has been, my soul mate. He knows me inside and out. He can look at me and know what I'm thinking. I hardly see him anymore but I bet he can still finish my sentences. He understands me and who I really am and what makes me tic. He understood me, I think, before I even did. And the really cool part? He accepts me for exactly who I am - faults and all (and I have a lot)!

SO.... why am I not with him you might be wondering? Good question (my first band). We'd probably kill each other.  I love him. I need him. We just can't be with each other.  I tried. I really did. I dated him.... slept with him, even. Several times. I tried everything I could think of to MAKE myself feel that way about him. But you know what 'they' say? You can't make the heart love somebody. I can tell you exactly how true that statement is because I tried so very hard. I knew if I married that man, he would make me happy for the rest of my life or do whatever was in his power to try. But I didn't. I couldn't. It wasn't fair. So 23 years later he's miserable and I'm alone.

I've dated all the wrong men.  Men who didn't care about me. One who mentally, emotionally and physically abused me. One who verbally belittled me every chance he got. One who only cared about his work. Oh, there were many. They weren't all bad. They just didn't work out for one reason or another. But there was always him. My friend. The one who knew the real me. The one no one else knew or tried to know. Not even my husbands. And you know what's funny? After two failed marriages and many relationships, the one thing I've come to realize is that at the end of the day, I want someone I can call my best friend. The one who I know, no matter what.... in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, through richer or poorer - loves me. The real me. Not the picture of somebody he was hoping I might be. I want a friend.

I wonder if I'll ever find that.  I know I'll keep looking.  Or not looking (isn't that when it finds you?)  The one thing I know for sure is that I will always have my dear friend. And that, I cherish.

Men are from Uranus....

Really, I have no clue where men are from but it's certain that men and women are from different planets.  I always thought that was a good thing because if we were both from the same place, wouldn't it be.... boring???  That's what I thought.  I'm starting to think otherwise. 

I also always thought a man and a woman could be friends and nothing more.  Maybe a gay man and a straight woman or a gay woman and a straight man, but I don't think a straight man and a straight woman can be friends and that's it.  Nothing else.  Nada.  Nope.  Because it doesn't seem to matter what happens but one always seems to either want to have sex with the other one (and this could be for the plain simple reason of just wanting to see what it's like) OR one starts to LIKE the other one, as in, romantic feelings.  BAH!!!!!!  And I have to tell ya' - it sucks on either end.  Don't think it's a one way street and you only get the shaft if you're the one doing the liking.  WRONG.  Here you could have found this awesome platonic friendship - someone to hang out with, be yourself with, talk about almost anything, get the opposite sex perspective, and BAM! they start looking at you like..... you know how.... with stars in their eyes.  Something changes somewhere.  Maybe you know when it happened or maybe you don't.  But it happened somewhere along the way and all of a sudden, one of you want something more.  WHYYYYY?  It was going along so well.  WHY DOES IT HAVE TO GET ALL FUCKED UP????  And you KNOW it's not going to end well.  But the one that has fallen says "no, no, no.... it's fine, we'll just keep being friends" and you're thinking "oh yeah.... this is going to work" but you go along with it and you don't change anything, you just keep doing what you were doing but somehow, you've led them on.  How does this happen?  You didn't do anything differently but because THEIR feelings changed, YOU led them on.  It's soooooo very wrong. 

So now you have to have the talk to straighten it all out.  You have to be the wretched, rotten, douche bag of a person that lays it on the line because even though you did NOTHING differently, you are somehow to blame for another person being hurt.  One that you happen to care about, by the way.  One who you consider a very, very good friend.  Think that's going to go down the perverbial drain????  Oh the drama - anyone who knows me knows how much I hate drama.  I left all my drama in North Carolina - his name is Ray Bray (no, I have no idea why anyone would name a child that).  He's someone else's drama now (did ya' hear - he's engaged a fourth or fifth or maybe even sixth time- who really knows how many - to get married for the third time?!?!?!?!? LOL).  So here we go.... let's be the asshole who has to ask the tough questions like "why did you think things were going to change" and shit like that.  Now you're the jackass.  You're the heartless bitch who has no feelings.  But really.... you do.   

You know what?  I don't think a man and a woman can be just friends and only friends.  There.  I said it.  Are you happy now? 

Isn't that a song?

Stick A Fork In Me - I'm Done

It's been a while.  Okay.... it's been 2 years.  Sue me.  I didn't understand how I was going to use the whole blogging world back then.  I thought at first, I'd use it to keep friends and family updated having moved from North Carolina to New Jersey.  It's tough to keep up and keep in touch - keep everyone who wants to know informed of what's going on.  Not that I have an exciting life.  Hellfire - I'm boring as shit!  I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have a band, I don't go out..... but hey - I have an apartment, a dog, and a job.  So don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - I'm just saying, exciting I am not. 
Anyway.... after two years of doing nothing with this I've decided after a particularly aggravating day (which I will surely get into at a later point in time), that I'm going to use it to vent.  Or write whatever the hell I want.  I can drop the F-bomb (that'd be fuck, for all you good, non-swearing people) because if you know me, you know it IS one of my favorite words.  Yeah, yeah, I know - I'm a girl.  It's foul.  What can I say?  You don't like it, don't read my blog because I'm sure you'll see it here. 
I digress..... I can say anything I like here, right?  Bah, I'm sure something will come back and bite me in the ass or I'll piss someone off (probably a lot of someones) but you know what?  Fuck it.  I'm writing what I want.  At least I'm not posting naked pictures of myself on the world wide web.  Right?

So I've been gone a while.  Should I get you up to speed on my life?  Yeah, I know, I'm long winded but I'm pretty sure I can do this in a relatively short paragraph..... here we go:
 
I stayed with my parents for 8 months until we drove each other nuts, got a job in what seemed like a wonderful establishment, found myself a great little (dog-friendly)apartment 2.5 miles from said job, found a boyfriend, broke up with boyfriend but continued to not date him, fell in love with ex-boyfriend while not dating him, stopped seeing ex-boyfriend all together once completely and utterly in love with him, realized the wonderful establishment I thought I'd found was really Hell in disguise and my boss was Satan's psychotic sister, found a band that I stayed with for 6 months until I realized that they were never going to put an equal amount of effort into it as I was and therefore, never get out of the drummer's basement, lost my 20 year old nephew to a horrible and sudden accident (we probably won't talk about that here), formed a couple really good friendships with a couple really good people, searched long and hard until I found THE perfect place for me to work, where I am still very happily employed, and...... oh, that's it.  I did it!  One semi-short paragraph.  And you didn't think I could.

Well that's it for now - it's late and I need to eat some dinner.  Until next time (when I'll tell you why today was particularly aggravating)....

Oh.... goodness.... Harrison is 5 1/2 years old (turning 6 at the end of November) and he is happy.  He spends half his time with Poppe and Yaya (my parents) and the other half, with me.  Every now and again, he even gets to go down the shore for a bit.  No matter where he is, he is loved and spoiled.  I must remember to post how he went from howling for three hours until Yaya let him go upstairs and into my room (only) to having run of her entire house.

Peace!