The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #5

Date #2

Date #2 was supposed to be the dogpark on Saturday but considering it was supposed to be below freezing, I flip flopped dinner with a good friend (which would enable me to spend more time with him) and planned dinner and a band with my online guy.  I was very excited (and still giddy) to be going out later that night and thought "is this what it's like to have someone to DO things with?".  Little did I know that would be short-lived.

I picked him up because his wrist was hurting from his physical therapy session and considering he drives a stick (like me), I felt for him.  We went for dinner at the same place the band was playing.  The good thing: I am very comfortable with him. When he takes my hand in the parking lot, I enjoy it.  A good thing. 

Dinner was good, conversation was good.  I saw my dear friend who I haven't seen in way too long.  One of the highlights of my night.  I missed her so.  Time for the band.  They were good - interesting and different.  Of course, I was ready to go home before they even went on.  I am just not a "go out" kind of person.  Such a deadbeat I am.  My date was perceptive enough to know something was off but he mistook it for me not having a good time with him.  We left after one set and I guess I was a little quiet on the ride home.  When I got to his house, he kissed me on the cheek and jumped out of the car.  Confusion.

I asked him about it via text and he said it was because he thought I didn't enjoy myself.  We "talked" about it and I assured him it wasn't anything at all having to do with him and I thought that was that.  In the week that followed things seemed strained and one-sided.  I finally told him that I was going to leave him alone and if he slowed down with work and wanted to go out and do something to give me a holler and I'd be happy to but that I felt it was one-sided.  No harm, no foul and no hard feelings.  I never heard from him again.

Whoopadeedoo.  NEXT.

The Joys of Online Dating - Scene #4

The 1st Date

We set the time for 6:30-6:45 but we didn't make it until then.  I'm not sure who was more excited and can only speak for myself when I say I was pretty freakin' giddy.  We met at 6:15pm.  He was waiting for me beside his car in the parking lot.  He looked just like his pictures.  A relief.  I got a big hug.  Very nice. 

An hour and a half later and we were still talking and laughing at our table in the corner and hadn't ordered dinner yet.  He was sweet and nice and funny and quirky.  He talked and he listened.  He asked me questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested in hearing the answers.  On occasion, he reached across the table and took my hands in his.  And I let him.  And just in case he wasn't making enough of a mark on me, every so often, he'd quote part of my profile.  So not only did he read it, he actually remembered what it said.

We ate a couple of burgers and it was time to get going but not before we decided to take the dogs to the dog park this weekend.  He walked me to my car and....

....a lady doesn't kiss and tell. 

As my first husband used to say "that's no lady, that's my wife"..... so I'll just say his lips were so very soft and he was a complete gentleman which I was extremely pleased to discover because you know how much I hate the end of a 1st date!

The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #3

I've got a date.  I know - scary.  What's even scarier is that I haven't canceled it yet.  Anyone who knows me knows I cancel all first dates by the time the day of the date rolls around.  Five hours and counting.  And there's not a chance in Hell I'm canceling this one. 

He emailed me on Monday (as in, two days ago).  He sent only two sentences which would normally not sit well with me.  He asked that I write back.  Then he wrote "pretty please" in caps.  How could I not?  His profile read well, his pictures looked good (hard to see but for one), he had things to say, I LIKED what he said, he was close by..... I'm sure there's something wrong with him, I thought.

I logged onto the dating site in hopes to find him there.  I wanted to chat with seemingly Mr. Perfect-For-Me.  He wasn't on.  I futzed around doing other things.  As I was about to log off, I saw him.  I IM'd him.  Connection.  We chatted for about 30 minutes.  He seemed as good as his profile.  Okay.  Caution.  He asked me to call him.  You know I hate the phone.  I called.  An hour and a half (or so - I lost track of time) we hung up.  I think I smiled most of the conversation.  He wanted to meet me.  I wanted the same.

The next day I talked to him during my entire lunch hour.  When could he see me?  When did he want to meet, I asked.  "A half hour ago" he said.  Big smile.  Damn - he keeps saying the right things.  The following night.  He picked the place.

Each time we talk, email, or text, we find more we think alike or have in common.  It's downright eerie.  Tonight will be interesting, to say the least.  All I know is I haven't been looking forward to a date this much in I don't know how long.  My guess would be John, dare I speak the name?  I'd say my golden rule of not getting my hopes up is still intact but I'd by lying through my teeth fingers.

Did I mention he has a black lab?

The Joys of Online Dating -Scene #2

Sexyman0012 from Thailand is "looking long term relationship" and "if I don't mind can we know each other more?"  Yes, you read right - THAILAND (Oh, did you have a hard time making out what he wrote?  Welcome to my world.).  I live in the good ole' US of A.  This is not the first out-of-the-country request I've gotten to get to know me.  At first I thought out of state emails were.... questionable.  Pennsylvania, okay.  We're neighbors and Easton is only a 45 minute drive.  California?  Um, maybe not.

So now the Thailand email comes.  I reply asking him how he thinks a long term relationship will work from Thailand to the United States.  I tell him I don't think it will work out well so I'm sorry, but we can't "know each other more."

His reply:

"dear just easy t think if you are looking honest man am here relationship work with heart not with countrys honey if you change yours mind email me thanks"

Now I'm all for letting my heart take the lead sometimes and all that other mushy shit but relationships work with the heart, not with countries?  I'm going to have to disagree with that one.  I'd at least like to see my man, say, once a week?!?!  The once a year thing might be a bit hard for me to work around. 

Do you think if someone asked him what his requirements were for a girlfriend, his answer would be "a passport"?

The Joys of Online Dating

Before I knew it, shortly after the new year rang in, I found myself reactivating my profile on PlentyOfFish.com.  Perhaps because I believe that you never know where, when, or how you will find love.  Perhaps because I'm a glutton for punishment.  I either case, I've decided to blog about the entertaining people who are contacting me on this site.  First, though, I think I should print my profile for you so you know exactly what these people are reading (if  they are reading at all).  My profile reads as follows:

Interests:

 

(these ares listed in 3 columns and is simply a list of likes/interests)

Singing, music, Dahlias, drums, photography, the smell of fresh cut grass, big dogs, the beach at dusk, boats, the river, ping-pong, presents, shooting pool, movies, dining out, my family, surprises, making Italian dishes, four-wheeling, champagne, small towns, cat's bellies, Halloween, hats, hot baths, Christmas lights, ghosts, stick shifts, big sweatshirts, pit bulls, green eyes, rainy day naps, pony tails, paw prints, trying things I've never done, live music, not beating around the bush, strawberries, German shepherds, dominance, saying what you feel, Jimmy Buffett, quoting stupid movies, long passionate kisses

About Me:

There are only two things I can think of that will immediately halt our communications almost immediately:

 

 

1. You do not like dogs.
2. You think there is something wrong with same sex relationships.

Other than that, I don't care what kind of politics you like, what you drive, where you work, what you did in your past, who you dated..... if we connect and there is chemistry - that's what is important.  If you get me and we click - that's what's important.  If you are nice to waitresses and hold doors for strangers - that's what's important. 

I'm not going to write a big, long story here, describing myself to the world wide Internet.  If you're interested in getting to know me, feel free to send me a message with whatever you'd like to know (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it).  If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website.

What I will tell you is that I am happy with where I am at this point in my life.  I have no regrets... my past has helped me become who I am today and I like that person.  I believe that in this short life we're given, it's not about the hand we're dealt, but how we play it.  I have a job I love, a roof over my head, no debt and bills that are paid on time, a dog I adore and family that I enjoy spending time with.  I am an eternal optimist and a big goofball.  I love people and can (and often do) talk to strangers, yet at the same time, people bug the shit out of me probably because I have a low tolerance for stupidity and helplessness (I can explain that further if we ever meet - it's not as bad as it maybe sounds). LOL. I'm going to leave it there.  Thanks for stopping by.  Happy New Year!

First Date:

You decide.  Just tell me how to dress - jeans and a sweatshirt for the dog park or heels and a dress for dinner.  I like a decisive man so he should make that decision if he's going to ask me out.  I'm pretty easy in this area - I am comfortable staying in, going out, at the dog park, at the corner dive, at a five star restaurant - I can fit in anywhere.

(the pictures posted here are the photos on my profile)

That's it.

About 15 minutes ago I received an invitation to chat from HelloLadies21 located somewhere near Levittown, PA.  His opening line: "your sexy"

I asked him where he was located (I believe he listed a county in PA).... he said about 45 minutes from me.  Trying to locate his distance on Bingmaps so I could politely tell him he was too far from me (I just wasn't interested, period - not with someone who starts a conversation with someone they've never even spoken to with "your sexy"), I asked him if he was near Levittown.  He answered yes and I commented that I used to have family there.

He said "you coming to see me?" 
I answered "that would be a no."
He said "I'm trying." 

I asked if he was trying and he said yes.  I asked him if an opening line of "your sexy" usually worked for him.  He said it sometimes did.  I asked for who - women who want to get laid?  He laughed. 
As I'm about to tell him I'm not interested because he's located too far from me, he writes "your eyes say your a devil in bed. are you?" 

I asked if he read my profile or just looked at the pictures. 
He said "both." 
I answered "what part about this was confusing to you?: (sexual questions will not be answered, so save it). If I wanted a FWB situation, I'd have joined the appropriate website." 
He answered "I ignore it." 
At that point I said "There you go.  Bye."

Before I could sign out of the chat session, I was lucky enough to see his response. 
It read "Later WHORE."

Now this does not surprise me.  What I find amusing is that this person apparently likes whores, because before I said goodbye, he was all about wanting to meet me.  OR, did I suddenly become a whore because I was not interested in him?  AND... if that's the case, I find that amusing because I was being the exact opposite of an actual whore.  Now had he called me a bitch, that would be more appropriate (even though I was quite nice to him).  You get my point. 

This was not the first amusing contact I've had with the opposite sex.  This is just the most recent. 

Comments anyone?

PS - my dog lays sleeping at my feet.  My constant and loyal companion.  The only real unconditional love I have ever known from the male species.

Another New Year

Another year has come and gone.  I will say it was a better year than the previous one.  2011 found me out of my parents house and in my own apartment, out of Hell (the worst job I think I ever had) and at a company I love, broken up with someone I could've fallen in love with - wait - that's not good.  Well.... two out of three ain't bad.  The job was probably the most important of the three.  My livlihood?  Yeah, I'd say so.  Kind of ironic that working for a health and wellness center made me sick to my stomach, not to mention having more ailments than ever!  Why is that?  Oh, because the people running the place were (are) assholes?  Yes, that's right.  Seven months after I'm gone and there are about 5 people left there that were employed when I was there.  Pretty pathetic.  Karma certainly has it's work cut out with those two morons, that's for sure.  I think the best very well could've been when the supposed owner (I say supposed, because she is a pathological liar so you never really knew what was true or not) emailed me the entire company's paystubs by mistake.  This, from someone who didn't make mistakes.  Don't get me started. 

So, it's time, once again, for our resolutions.  Good intentions.  Shit that won't last.  One of mine is to be nicer to a good friend of mine.  One of my coworker said I should be nicer to my coworkers.  Hmmm.... NAH!  My coworkers should stop being lazy and do some work and then I'll be nicer.  I didn't bother resolving to stop saying fuck.  That doesn't usually last more than about 12 hours into the New Year.  What else?  To start an IRA.  That I intend to do.  Anything else?  I don't think so.  I don't want to overdo it.  Oh..... 2012 found me posting a profile on PlentyOfFish.com.  Because OKCupid wasn't enough torture, I suppose.  Free dating sites.  Let's all the crazies sign up.

Oh.... three days before 2011 ended, my dear friend, Rob, set me off good enough for me to have no interest in speaking with him for an indefinite amount of time.  That does not happen often.  It's January 6 and I still haven't spoken to him (or emailed, texted, IM'd or any other form of communication).  I'm sure the reply email I sent him in response to the one that pissed me off so much pissed him off pretty good, as well, leaving him no interest in speaking to me.  Two wrongs don't make a right, but I was just letting him know how I felt.  Pretty fucking mad and insulted.  I think he knows now.

That's all for now.  Until next time, my few and faithful readers.....

That's What Friends Are For (or are they?)

I've had many friends throughout my life. Of course, my idea of what a friend is has changed many times over the years. I guess that's normal as we get older and wiser. When I was a child, I thought my best friend then would always be my best friend. I didn't know any better. Who am I kidding, even as a young adult, after having quite a few "best friends" I thought the one I had at that point in time was going to be it until I got old and gray. This is the part of me that is forever optimistic and always seeing the good in people. At 42 I still hold on to that shit (even though I call it shit) and believe it always works out the way it is supposed to (which is supposed to be good) and people, deep down, will do the right thing. Shit, right? Yeah, well, I didn't say it was accurate, I just said I still hang on to it.

  

Anyway....I read something once early on - a poem or some such thing. I just looked it up (gotta love the Internet) - it was the Reason, Season and Lifetime friend poem and it said people either come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some of it is hokey but some of it made a whole lot of sense to me. It made me understand why friends come and go. Or maybe it just gave me a reason to believe why they went. Because sometimes I just didn't understand. I started to think my expectations were too high.  Or maybe there was something wrong with me. Or maybe I didn't deserve friends who stayed. 

I like to think that people do come into your life for a reason and you may not know what that is until quite some time down the road because it hurts when they go, but eventually, you do figure it out. Some of my friends now are text friends. Some are shopping friends. Some are hang out and have a beer friends. And some.... very few.... would drive an hour, at three in the morning to come and pick me up if I called them because I needed a ride. Those people.... they are my friends. If you're lucky, you get a few of those in your life and you hang on to them. I've never been one of those people, though, who had a friend like that since kindergarten or grammar school or even high school. I always envied people who had that and wished I did.

What I do have is one friend who I've known since 1988. He is, by far, the person I've known the longest and am still extremely close with. He is and always has been, my soul mate. He knows me inside and out. He can look at me and know what I'm thinking. I hardly see him anymore but I bet he can still finish my sentences. He understands me and who I really am and what makes me tic. He understood me, I think, before I even did. And the really cool part? He accepts me for exactly who I am - faults and all (and I have a lot)!

SO.... why am I not with him you might be wondering? Good question (my first band). We'd probably kill each other.  I love him. I need him. We just can't be with each other.  I tried. I really did. I dated him.... slept with him, even. Several times. I tried everything I could think of to MAKE myself feel that way about him. But you know what 'they' say? You can't make the heart love somebody. I can tell you exactly how true that statement is because I tried so very hard. I knew if I married that man, he would make me happy for the rest of my life or do whatever was in his power to try. But I didn't. I couldn't. It wasn't fair. So 23 years later he's miserable and I'm alone.

I've dated all the wrong men.  Men who didn't care about me. One who mentally, emotionally and physically abused me. One who verbally belittled me every chance he got. One who only cared about his work. Oh, there were many. They weren't all bad. They just didn't work out for one reason or another. But there was always him. My friend. The one who knew the real me. The one no one else knew or tried to know. Not even my husbands. And you know what's funny? After two failed marriages and many relationships, the one thing I've come to realize is that at the end of the day, I want someone I can call my best friend. The one who I know, no matter what.... in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, through richer or poorer - loves me. The real me. Not the picture of somebody he was hoping I might be. I want a friend.

I wonder if I'll ever find that.  I know I'll keep looking.  Or not looking (isn't that when it finds you?)  The one thing I know for sure is that I will always have my dear friend. And that, I cherish.